


Don't leave me behind (I can't endure the sea alone)

by KlavierRPF (KlavierWrites)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Self-Esteem Issues, sorry for making Dowoonie cry :/
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KlavierWrites/pseuds/KlavierRPF
Summary: Dowoon was stupid for even thinking he’d have something resembling a chance with either of them.
Relationships: Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae/Yoon Dowoon, Kim Wonpil/Yoon Dowoon, Park Jaehyung | Jae/Yoon Dowoon
Comments: 11
Kudos: 67





	Don't leave me behind (I can't endure the sea alone)

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I'll write something Dowoon-focused for his birthday!  
> Me: wait why is he crying.
> 
> Uhhh, yeah. Idk what this is. An alternate, angsty-er version of the jaepil relationship reveal from my fic ['Like that Sun'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432792/chapters/61681528) maybe? 
> 
> If there are any errors it's because I couldn't proofread by reading aloud because I'm on a trip and sharing a hotel room with my mum. Title is from the translation from the EOD title track lyrics teaser!!
> 
> Twitter: [@eajpils](https://twitter.com/eajpils)

The worst part is, the first thing he feels isn’t sadness, or even jealousy. It’s _embarrassment._ Embarrassment that he’d been stupid enough to let himself hope, even for a second, that the attention that Wonpil payed him meant anything more. That the way Jae liked to brag about him to all his American friends was anything other than brotherly love. That he’d have something even resembling a chance with either of them.

He knows they’re probably wondering about him right now. He’s not going to be dumb enough to think they’re worrying, but they’re probably a little confused. Maybe slightly concerned, hopefully not angry (God, Dowoon prays that they’re not angry). Or maybe, worse, they’re _not_. Maybe they laughed about it, laughed about _him_ , and went back to what they were doing. Which – Dowoon’s brain lingers horribly on the memory – was kissing on the sofa in their communal living space.

Dowoon is an idiot. He curls up a little tighter on his bed and pulls the sheets right over his head, so he’s breathing in stale air. A familiar self-loathing is creeping over him. It’s a monster he’s tried so hard to fight, so hard to will away. But it senses his pain and it crawls back to him. The spindly, slimy fingers of self-hatred pry his jaw open and it slips inside, taking residence in his throat and making breathing difficult. He’s _disgusting._ Liking two people at once. That’s not normal. He’s not normal. And worse, he likes his _bandmates_. If they knew how he felt, they’d be uncomfortable. They’d think he was creepy. He _is_ creepy.

He thinks about the scene he’d walked in on again. How he’d come in so quietly that neither Wonpil or Jae had realised he was there. How they’d not been doing anything out of the ordinary at first, squashed close on the couch watching something on Jae’s phone. How Dowoon had watched as Wonpil had hooked his foot around Jae’s ankle and Dowoon had thought ‘oh, he won’t like that’. But Jae had turned to look at Wonpil and smiled and it made Dowoon’s stomach lurch because he knew, suddenly, what was about to happen. He’d made some weird kind of strangled, panicked noise as Jae had closed the miniscule distance between the two of them to kiss Wonpil square on the mouth.

They’d both turned to look at him and he didn’t even say anything, just fled the room, thrown himself onto his bed, screamed into his pillow then assumed the position he’s in now. He hopes they’re not worried he’s going to tell on them or something. Surely they at least know he wouldn’t do that, even if he is disgusting and creepy and everything else.

His fitted sheet is wet with tears, but he hadn’t even been consciously aware he was crying. Great. He’s a grown man and he’s curled up on bed crying. Crying because he’s jealous of his crush for dating his other crush.

Somebody knocks on the door. “I’m not in the mood,” he calls. He hopes he sounds churlish and not heartbroken.

“It’s Jae,” comes the voice through the door.

Dowoon’s heartrate picks up, but he keeps his voice as even as he can. “ _Really_ not in the mood.”

“I’m coming in anyway,” says Jae. God no, Dowoon doesn’t want that.

“No, hyung–”

Too late. He hears the door creak open. He didn’t even have time to get out from under the covers or do anything to stop it from looking like he’s having a complete mental breakdown.

“Oh, Jesus,” he hears Jae say, “Dowoonie, are you under the blankets?”

“Headache,” lies Dowoon. Sungjin gets migraines sometimes, he says sitting in the dark helps. This could, theoretically, be that.

“You never get headaches,” says Jae, and Dowoon hears him step further into the room, “I figured you were basically immune because you play drums for a living. Can I get you anything?”

“Um –” tears are leaking from his eyes again. Dowoon’s not sure he can keep his voice steady. “No.”

Something in the way he says it tips Jae off. “You sure you’re alright?” he asks and then a hand grabs the blanket and pulls.

Dowoon cringes against the light and the humiliation of being seen curled up on his bed like a kid, and immediately struggles to sit upright. Jae’s eyes are wide. “You’ve been crying.”

“My head hurts.”

“Yeah, but bad enough to cry? Dowoonie, what’s wrong? Is this about me and Wonpilie?”

Oh, god. Dowoon hates himself. He hates his weak, over-expressive face and the way he feels it crumble when Jae mentions Wonpil. Hates the immediate look of understanding on Jae’s face. “Oh, no, Dowoon, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t–” he pulls the blankets up again, attempting to hide his face. He feels exposed. “You don’t need to apologise. I’m just– I’m just being– stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” says Jae. “And I am sorry. You shouldn’t have found out like that. Wonpil and I had a plan.”

“To tell the group?”

“To tell _you_ ,” corrects Jae. Dowoon thinks this is meant to be reassuring, but considering that it implies they knew that he, specifically, would react badly, he just starts crying harder. Jae stares down at him for a moment and then says, “Fuck, how do I even explain this? Budge up.”

Wiping his horrible snotty face with the sleeve of his shirt, Dowoon does. Jae, completely uncharacteristically, climbs into the bed next to him and then pulls out his phone. “I’m texting Wonpil to join us,” he says, “we’re having this conversation as a group.”

By the time a very confused looking Wonpil knocks on the door, Dowoon has stopped crying. From the way Wonpil’s eyes widen, though, he clearly still looks like a mess.

“Dowoonie, I’m so sorry,” says Wonpil, immediately crossing the room and sitting on the bed. “I’m so, so sorry baby.”

He flings himself forwards so he can warp his arms around Dowoon’s shoulders. Dowoon realises he’s still shaking a little. “We messed up,” says Jae.

“Yeah,” says Wonpil, “we did.”

“You didn’t–” Dowoon starts, but he can feel tears pricking at his eyes again. He pauses, takes a deep breath, and tries again. “You didn’t mess up. I was just – uh. Shocked. To find out that you two are…”

“Together,” finishes Wonpil helpfully.

“Only shocked?” asked Jae, eyebrows raised, “because if it were me walking in on you and Pil, I’d probably be heartbroken.”

Wonpil nods. “I’d probably react a lot like you are now.”

Dowoon looks from one to the other. “Why?”

“Because we’re us,” says Jae. “We’re a three.”

“Be honest, Dowoonie,” says Wonpil. “Please. We won’t judge you.”

Dowoon sighs, and looks down at his in his lap. The sleeves of his shirt are absolutely disgusting. “It just hurts,” he admits, “that you picked each other and not…” He snaps his mouth shut, immediately worried he’s said too much.

He glances up at the other two men on the bed in time to see them share a look he doesn’t understand. “Ok,” says Jae, “so we _are_ all on the same page. Pillie, you wanna go first?”

Wonpil nods and repositions himself on the bed so he’s sitting exactly in front of Dowoon, making eye contact. “I’m in love with you.”

Dowoon’s heart stops. “But Jae-hyung…” he manages to say.

“I’m the same,” says Jae, and Dowoon’s head swivels to him instead. “I’m uh – in love with you. Or whatever.”

_“What?”_

“Me and Pil, we’d only been – um – seeing each other for a short while before realised we’d messed up.”

“We work way better as a three,” says Wonpil, “I can’t imagine me without you, or us without Jae-hyung. We love you, and we want you to be part of our relationship. If you want that.”

“Both of you?” asks Dowoon, eyes wide.

Jae chuckles, “yeah, Dowoonie.”

“Seriously? You’re not, like, messing with me?”

“No,” says Wonpil. “We’re not.”

Dowoon starts to cry again. He thinks they’re happy tears, or maybe overwhelmed tears. Either way, Wonpil throws himself forward again to wrap is arms around Dowoon’s shoulders and Jae’s long arms immediately snake around his middle. “Don’t cry, Dowoonie,” murmurs Wonpil. “Please. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not trying to cry,” he mumbles, swiping the back of his hand over his eyes to try and stem the flow, “just keeps happening.”

Wonpil shuffles closer and they sit in silence until Dowoon’s tears stop, arms around each other. “Are you sure you want me?” asks Dowoon.

“Positive,” says Jae.

“You don’t think I’m weird or–” he forces the word out, “creepy?”

“Oh, baby, of course not,” says Wonpil. He called him that earlier, too.

“I uh– like that you call me that. Baby.” Wonpil’s mouth falls open. Dowoon feels his ears going red.

“I didn’t realise I did.”

“Oh. Well, it’s nice. You can if you want.”

Wonpil beams at him. “Ok, baby.”

Dowoon hides his face in his hands as Jae laughs. “It’s like his red ears have an on switch.”

“You can’t talk,” says Wonpil, “I called you sweetheart earlier and you almost walked into a wall.”

“I wasn’t expecting it!” says Jae indignantly.

Dowoon smiles behind his hands as Jae and Wonpil bicker, both of them still with their arms around him. This is nice. He could get used to this.


End file.
